remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize