I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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