he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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