I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
