so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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