i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Text me some of your sweat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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