i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
do herpes really smell.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
