You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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