He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize