I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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