we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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