rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
