Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
