hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
