Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
