oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
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Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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