it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
