i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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