Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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