Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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