before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
