I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
