why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
