quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me