I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.