So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
