Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL