He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.