His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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