PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
