I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
foreskin is a definite game changer
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
