I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
