Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
