Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I could make wine with my vomit
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
