with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
