it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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