if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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