He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
