kristin has been a bad kristin
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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