KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's rum buckets o'clock
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
