I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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