I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
