just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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