Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
