I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
