I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
