dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
