My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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