So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Come share oat with me in your robe
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
