whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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