I am spending my child support on dildos
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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