four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
