Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
