operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
