He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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