Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
