She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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