This dress was meant to end up on your floor
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
