he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
