why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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